The Effects of Boredom
by Lady Emzebel
Summary: Usually, even if one has exhausted all other means of entertainment, one does not go around starting relationships under mikan trees. Written for The Sacred and Profane. Enjoy.


Title: The Effects of Boredom

Pairing: Usopp/Nami

Rating: K

Warnings: None I think...*feels own head* There's something wrong with me surely...

Disclaimer: Must I put this for every one shot I write? Yeah, yeah, I don't own One Piece.

A/N: A oneshot written for the amazing Sacred and Profane; writer of oneshots, setter of challenges...fulfiller of challenges. XD I hope you enjoy this, my good sir. :D

-----X3-----

"Nami, I'm bored."

"Go play with your chemistry set then." The navigator didn't even look up from the parchment she toiled over, instead dipping her pen back in the inkwell before drawing it out again. Usopp frowned and left.

He returned a few minutes later and sat down across from her.

"It's raining."

"So?"

"You expressively forbade me from ever mixing my chemicals anywhere else but on deck before we even left East Blue."

"Oh yeah."

Silence fell once more.

"When do the others get back?"

"Usopp, why on earth would I know something like that?"

"It's raining. Shouldn't they be getting back?"

"The log pose won't set for another week; they are at perfect liberty to stay however long they like."

"But it's _raining_."

"Robin and Chopper will be in a bookshop, Luffy will be pestering some poor butcher, and Zoro and Sanji, I'm sure, will have found a hotel room somewhere. None of them will be actually outside."

"Oh."

The rumble of distant thunder briefly filled the galley. Nami raised her head fractionally but dismissed it as no threat.

"Nami, I'm really, really bored."

She stabbed at him with her compass. He yelped and shifted out of reach.

"So don't bother me! I've got things to do!"

"Why did it have to be us that picked the short straws...," Usopp grumbled to no one in particular.

The pen made slight scratching noises as it rasped across the parchment in smooth, steady strokes, filling in the negative space with an island. Eventually Usopp got up and sloped off outside, leaving Nami alone in blissful silence to complete her work.

Another hour later she sat up and stretched, positively purring with satisfaction.

"And that's the last of them. I'm all caught up."

She smiled as packed away her equipment then got up and gazed out the window. It was still raining, speckling the glass with sparkling droplets, and there was no sign of the others. Her bright smile faded to be replaced with a frown.

What could she do now?

There were no more maps. She'd just finished the last of them. Sunbathe? Of course not; the weather would not permit such a thing. Read? No, the only books on board she'd browsed at least three times over; she could practically recite them word for word by now.

Sighing she went in search of the sniper. It didn't take her long; he was huddled under her mikan trees, twiddling with a screwdriver and one of his many gadgets.

Normally, she'd have punted him across the deck for such an offence, but as she could sense he had not been filching any fruit—and in any case, such a thing would only have amused her for a short while, anyway—she instead strode over to stand behind him and nudge him with her foot.

He turned, looking wary and even a little terrified as she loomed over him.

"Y...yes...N...Nami-chan?"

"I'm bored, Usopp."

His eyes brightened with mischief and he smirked.

"Oh ho ho, now look who's in a predicament."

She thumped him round the back of the head for his cheek and pushed him further under the leaves so she too could sit beneath their shelter. Rubbing his new lump he grinned at her sheepishly.

"I could tell you a story of the stupendous adventures of Captain Usopp!" He attempted to pose as he normally would in front of a larger audience but only ended up knocking the leaves above him and showering them both with water.

Nami crossed her legs and propped her chin on her hand as Usopp tenderly nursed his second, faintly steaming bump. She tapped his leg impatiently.

"Come on then. Tell me a story."

"Er...o...okay. Um...oh!" He cleared his throat. "Once upon a time, there was a mighty warrior called Usoppu..."

He caught the expectant gleam in the navigator's eye.

"...and a brilliant sorceress called Namiko."

"I like this beginning."

Usopp smiled, shifting his position and getting further into his own story.

"Together, they lived in a merry little manor house amidst a giant grove of mikans—said mikans being the tastiest in the world, of course—and did all they could to help govern Lord Loofee's fiefdom with firm and gentle hands. One day they were summoned to their lord's castle and bid to escort his directionally-challenged son, Zoronoa, to his wedding to Prince Sanjini in the next kingdom over..."

Nami couldn't have said how long the story lasted, only that by the time it was done, the others were still not back and she was hungry. Reaching up into the branches above her head, she carefully extracted two glossy orbs and tossed one to the sniper.

They sat in companionable silence as they munched their mikans, knees just touching, watching the steel-grey sea lap against Merry's sides.

The navigator brushed a few bits of pith from her skirt and growled.

"I'm bored again."

Usopp leaned back against the tree, hands behind his head. Casually, he glanced over at Nami.

"Well, I don't suppose you'd be interested in making out now would you?"

She stared at him for a good long time. Then they burst out laughing together, rolling around beneath the foliage.

"Hahahaha! That was a good one Usopp!"

"Tell me about it! Haha! Your face! Priceless!"

"Like we'd actually do something like that to alleviate boredom! Hahahaha!"

"Hahahahah! Laughable! Absolutely laughable!"

They laughed and laughed until their sides hurt and tears were streaming down their faces. Several deep breaths finally had them calmed down enough for their heart beats to return to normal, idiot grins still plastered to their faces. The rain pattered down on the deck, deafeningly loud in the silence.

A beat.

Usopp swallowed anxiously.

Two.

Cold sweat rimmed Nami's hairline.

Three.

They both lunged for each other simultaneously.


End file.
